"I want to tell my story. It's one that only a few people know but has forever placed a mark on my heart, body, and spirit."
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in a relationship with a man who I thought was perfect. He was loving, kind, caring, and attentive. He was a great dad and an even better partner. We developed a relationship rather quickly, and he was great to my boys, and I loved his children like they were mine.
Christmas was approaching, and he was getting ready to leave. We lived in San Antonio, and he was in the Army and about to move to Kansas to start his next assignment. We talked about a future together and dreamed about what that could be like, including marriage and having more children. It was perfect, and he asked the boys and me to move to Kansas once my lease was up in April of that coming year. We agreed to move and began making arrangements to make the transition.
I put in my notice at my job and even began pricing Uhauls to haul our stuff to him. We scheduled a trip for March of the coming year so the boys could see the house and start getting them acclimated to the idea of the move. It went great, and we headed home a week later. The drive home was uneventful and quiet; the boys slept most of the way. However, I would find out everything was not okay a few days later.
I pulled back into San Antonio that evening and attempted to call him to let him know we had made it. No answer. I tried to text. No answer. Eventually, he texted back, saying, "I don't feel like talking right now." I had this horrible feeling something was wrong. I tried to call a few more times but no answer. I eventually went to bed and woke up the next day wondering what had happened and what went wrong.
He didn't respond most of the day, which was abnormal because he always answered. We planned another trip a few weeks later when the boys would be at their father's. I received a text that night, "I'm going to ask you not to come back until my family has come and gone." I agreed though I was becoming increasingly anxious as I knew something was wrong.
On the 3rd day of the silent treatment, I began texting, wanting an answer or explanation of what was happening; that was when he called me. He told me he couldn't do it. He told me he wasn't ready. He told me he thought he was ready but was wrong. He told me he didn't want to be together anymore. I remember shattering on my living room floor. I begged him to stay, work through this with me, and help me understand, but he shut down. He gave no explanation other than he couldn't do this right now.
I thought my world had ended at that moment! I grabbed a bottle of whiskey out of my cabinet and proceeded to drink all night while watching "An Officer and a Gentlemen" repeatedly.
People were calling and texting, and I couldn't answer. I spent the next three days in my bed on and off, drinking two more bottles of whiskey. I needed to call someone, so I called my Aunt. She is a person who has been there for me always, since day one, and she always picks up without judgment.
Slurring my words, not making sense, crying, I begged her to help me. I explained what had happened, and we arranged for me to get on a plane to see her. I needed to be with someone who wanted to help me with this pain.
Seventy-two hours later, I was on a flight, still intoxicated. I drank on the plane until I was numb. When I arrived, she was there with open arms to embrace me and let me know everything would be okay.
This is the story's point where Dr. James and Jing Shen Healing Arts come in. My Aunt had arranged for me to see her acupuncturist. Skeptically, I arrive at the clinic and walk through the door; I am embraced with so much understanding, compassion, and love.
I began three days of multiple sessions per day of acupuncture, a healing retreat/journey that may have saved my life. I opened up emotionally on the first day and was exposed to some hard truths. I told my story, but I honestly felt nothing but numb in the beginning. As I began to receive treatment, my body went through changes, and I began to have all of the pain rise again. I cried, was angry, and was sad, but I began feeling relief. I then began to make sense of what was happening and suddenly understood that this was nothing I could control; I had to let go.
On the second day, I was dead sober. I had been without alcohol for over 24 hours, and my emotions were raw. I was no longer numb and was extremely sad. However, by the end of the treatment, I knew I would be okay. I knew I would be okay today, and in the future, I was going to make it. Even the anger was gone.
On the third day, I experienced a moment I still dream about. With his gentle presence, Dr. James placed a needle on my wrist; I felt an energy come through and out of my index finger. I asked him about it, and he explained that the points help regulate what is disrupted. It is intended to free what is stagnant, allowing our systems to normalize.
I felt rejuvenated. It was unlike any experience I had ever had. It was beautiful! When in the middle of a life-changing event, we want that pain to go away no matter what it takes. I've always believed that acupuncture worked, but it is much more powerful to experience.
Dr. James and Jing Shen Healing Arts helped me find hope in a time when I thought I wouldn't survive. My gratitude goes beyond words.
I share my story because I want everyone to know. Most of us have been in situations at some point in our life that hurt so badly that we want to die. I was in a dark place before my Aunt delivered me to Jing Shen; I absolutely wanted to die. My experiences of the care during those few days of treatment were life-changing. The follow-up care has been just as valuable. I now have hope that I can love again and be loved the way I have always imagined. To have that hope, I feel that I am truly living life in its most beautiful and rare form.
My life is forever changed, and I am and will be forever grateful. "